love

merged/pages.yml

@@ -83,3 +83,8 @@
   :type: page
   :updated_by: maijanposteja@gmail.com
   :id: 17
+- :name: conscious_love
+  :updated_at: 2023-05-27 21:31:10.193416008 +03:00
+  :type: page
+  :updated_by: torsten@villataika.fi
+  :id: 18

merged/sections.yml

@@ -1558,3 +1558,103 @@
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+- :template: section_text
+  :index: 1
+  :page_id: 18
+  :updated_at: 2023-05-27 21:34:48.828568898 +03:00
+  :updated_by: torsten@villataika.fi
+  :id: 82
+  :card_template: ''
+  :options:
+    text_columns: '3'
+    background: white
+    text_color: solid_black
+    margin: none
+    subheader: ''
+    text_align: left
+    button_link: ''
+    button_text: ''
+  :header: Partnership for consciousness
+  :text: "In a sentence we might say at Hub Feenix that living is about learning,
+    growing in intelligence and conciousness. Love partnership follows the same reasoning,
+    in that it’s highest purpose is to increase conciousness in both partners. Love
+    brings two people together, touching places in both that are usually hidden behind
+    the persona that we create to interact in the world. Being touched is most beautiful,
+    but also brings issues, old pains, traumas and the like. Only a honest, committed
+    love has the power to break through the old pains.\r\n\r\nWe believe that sexuality,
+    as the most intimate of human contacts, is best practised in such a committed
+    relationship, which creates the space for dealing with the consequences.\r\n\r\n###Traditional
+    marriage###\r\n\r\nThe view outlined above can be seen as quite different from
+    traditional marriages, which have evolved out of a sort of inter-community/family
+    business deal to benefit the then small communities. Before the romantics, love
+    did not play into the issue, and the participants were held together by strong
+    social pressures. After romantic love became more prominent, the social pressures
+    were still at work and many people understandably ended up quite unhappy because,
+    because no-one as we might put it, had a clue as to what they were doing at any
+    deeper level.\r\n\r\n###Change is needed###\r\n\r\nTo be clear, we do understand
+    that most people are still in this situation, of starting relationships purely
+    based on feelings and then not knowing what to do when it inevitably gets difficult.
+    In our view this is the reason why experiments with different forms of relationships
+    are more and more taking place, and free sexuality or polygamy are the most popular
+    at the moment (see link below).\r\nWe acknowledge that the old ways do not work
+    any more, and change is needed both at the personal and societal level. But for
+    us the best way is the one outlined above, not free sexuality, and we will detail
+    below why.\r\n\r\n###Open partnership done right still falls short###\r\n\r\nOne
+    of the highest values of Hub Feenix is non-violence, or consent, and so when more
+    than two people enter into consensual relationship (with open cards as it were),
+    we do not have a problem with that. For us this would include detailed communication
+    about the base agreements of interaction with the people, talking before acting
+    out eg, and keeping a high level of trust, as eg Tamera advocates.\r\n\r\nIn this
+    way open relationships may be lived while causing the least amount of unnecessary
+    pain, but in our opinion, the benefits of love are mostly lost. This is because
+    the love is shared, or diluted one may say, and the motivation to work through
+    issues is not nearly as strong. After all the whole motivation for more partners
+    is to pick and choose, finding solutions to problems with other people, rather
+    than between the two people that have the problem.\r\n\r\n###Open sexualities
+    achilles heel###\r\n\r\nWhen people (like Dieter Duhm, below) talk about the reason
+    why open sexuality is the solution to the problem, there is often a fair amount
+    of good sounding words being used (trust, openess, communication etc). But the
+    actual problem is rarely hit on the head, only alluded to. The main problem can
+    usually be seen when a man want to have more sex, usually with an attractive woman.
+    Phrases like “couragous excursion” already frame the breach in a positive light.
+    The main problem we find, is the breach of trust, as opposed to working through
+    the problem. If partners are not having enough intimacy (sexual or otherwise),
+    this is something that we feel should be resolved by communication.\r\n\r\nIf
+    on the other hand communication is not working, the breach of trust is often performed
+    as an unconscious exit strategy (unconscious of the deeper issue, not the sexual
+    drive off course). Once trust has been breached, we do not know that it can be
+    restored, mainly because the lack of communication is what led to the breach.\r\n\r\nOff
+    course this is for the case when the open partnership has not been agreed upon
+    beforehand. If it has, the other shortcomings described above come into play.
+    Not distinguishing between the cases of agreed and not agreed openness is a major
+    source of confusion in the communication about open sexuality.\r\n\r\n###Societal
+    healing###\r\n\r\nAs Tamera and others have rightly pointed out, many of the current
+    societal problems can be traced back to the relationship between the sexes, love
+    and partnership. And to be more precise, to the forceful, violent, exploitative
+    and generally unequal way men have treated women especially in the west.\r\n\r\nPeace
+    can really only be when we have peace between the sexes, between man and woman.
+    This off course starts in partnerships, and to heal those partnerships, men must
+    make amends. It is not enough to have equal partnerships now, men must consciously
+    make up or the thousands of years of mistreatment and can only stop when women,
+    both personally and generally, say it’s ok.\r\n\r\nWhile this may sound abstract,
+    it has quite concrete ramifications. Much of men’s mistreatments stems quite simply
+    from sexual frustration, not getting enough. And so the solution is also quite
+    simple, men must deny any expression of said frustration. Maybe more radically,
+    men must give up on the idea of having a right not to be. Love and intimacy can
+    after all only be given, not taken. \r\n\r\nOnly in this way can the cycle of
+    karma be broken and love be restored. \r\n\r\nOpen partnerships on the other hand
+    look like a more sophisticated way for men to argue that they need to get more
+    sex. Many women we have spoken to still feel coerced, driven by fear of loss,
+    which was supposed to be a thing of the past in this model. And many women also
+    feel tired after some years, unsupported, as real commitment is lacking.\r\n\r\nTrue
+    love heals, and loved women love intimacy. Men must be patient, participate in
+    the healing process, not force anything. Not necessarily ask for personal forgiveness
+    but be aware of the history that theirs fathers have participated in. \r\n\r\n###Conclusion###\r\n\r\nAt
+    Hub Feenix we agree with Tamera, that “we are working on a project where both
+    genders can liberate themselves from the horror of the past forever”. Also that
+    trust and communication is essential in all relationships.\r\n\r\nConversely we
+    believe that selfishness (the “i want ..” impulse) hides most effectively in sexual
+    desire, and open partnerships, and more so polygamy, is the latest sophistication
+    in which self is hiding.\r\n\r\nIn contrast we believe the highest joy and fulfilment
+    in partnership comes out of total honesty and commitment to the higher goal of
+    growing in conciousness. \r\n\r\n\r\nReference by Dieter Duhm on behalf of Tamera:\r\nhttps://www.tamera.org/article-free-sexuality-and-partnership-complementary-not-contradictory/\r\n"